A War Of Ideas

“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

The best way to make someone’s day is to make them feel important.  Affirmation is motivating, it’s inspiriting, but it means appreciating even when it’s difficult.  Every day we are continually bombarded with opinions, notions, conceptions and corrections, but ultimately choices.  These are the pinnacle moments in our lives when we chose if we will react or if we will respond.  In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Steven R. Covey , describes this gap we all have between stimulus and response[1].  The choice that we all must make is simply what is most important in the given situation.  But before we react, we need to take a ‘cost benefit’ analysis of the situation.

Considering all possible situations, I would wager that the hardest thing for us to do, is give someone else affirmation even when we know they are wrong.  So what’s at stake , our reputation, our cognition, our…?  None of the above, the correct answer is the other person.  Situations may change implications may change but always remember, people are most important - keep in mind when it comes to morals, it’s a whole different ball game.  As Steven R. Covey later said, “Put the first things first” Know your priorities, consider the consequences, then and only then respond.

It’s difficult to claim your wrong when you’re right, why would you want to?  Simple, people matter most.  For me this notion of, as Dr. Covey called it, ‘empathetic listening’ is especially difficult because I am extremely A-Typical, which means I tend to focus on winning arguments through my logical approach (Logos) knowledgeable repute and I inadvertently  leave emotion(Ethos) out of the picture[3]. 

It’s a fine line, so how do we discern when to approach the situation with simple human emotion, instead of critiquing logic and cutting knowledge?

Wait for the next post(11 – Think, Think, Act) and I’ll tell you just that – postponed because my posts are becoming too long.

But until then, when conflict arises, muster your strength, swallow your pride and remember that PEOPLE MATTER MOST!

Sincerely,

--

^“15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” ~ NIV Joshua 24:15

Jordan D. Ulmer

Cited: 

1.  Covey, Stephen R. "Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood." The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1989. 245-57. Print. 
2.  Carnegie, Dale. "Make the Other Person Feel Important - and Do It Sincerely; The Only Way to Get the Best of an Argument Is to Avoid It." How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1981. 105-28. Print. 
3.  Martha, Henning L. "Ethos, Pathos, and Logos." Ethos, Pathos, and Logos. N.p., 1998. Web. 09 Jan. 2013. <http://courses.durhamtech.edu/perkins/aris.html>.